Happy New Year!

Hello it is 2019! Good of you to join me.

My Christmas went really well. Relaxing times, family times, lil’ bit of tense/stressful/weird times. I felt my mother’s absence very keenly on the 26th, when we had our family gathering, and had quite a cry about it on the drive home. (Lori drove). Not unexpected at all. And I got some exciting gifts. So that’s fun.

Had my first counselling session last Thursday, a good chat with a very chill fellow named George. We talked for an hour and got to know each other, and I got some homework;

First thing is to decide on what I feel is my biggest problem, and give it a name. George explained that when we experience problems in life we tend to internalize them and make them part of the stories we believe about ourselves; that when we experience, say, a lot of anxiety, we think of ourselves as an “anxious person” when we think back on those times. Part of his strategy is to help folks picture those problems as being once again outside of them; that people are not the problem, the problem is the problem. So we’re supposed to visualize problems as an outside entity speaking to us, and then name that entity (preferably something that’s at least a little humorous for us).

I haven’t spoken to him about the results of my homework yet, but I’m thinking I’m going to name my low self-esteem “Marvin”, as in Marvin the Paranoid Android from Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. This fellow:

Homework part two was to list ten “miracles”. (Hopefully George is not upset that I’m passing along his counselling techniques for free??)

Imagine that you’ve had a normal evening and gone to bed. The next morning, as you look at yourself in the mirror, you know that overnight, something has changed within you. It’s a miracle! But, what happened? Caveat: the miracle must already be within your power to do. So for instance, “win the lottery” is not a good answer, but “I fully believe that I matter” is.

Last thing was to listen to an excerpt of the book The Mindful Way Through Depression which I did, and it was very interesting. One takeaway is once again that you are not the problem, and that expending a lot of metal energy trying to logic and reason your way out of a depressive episode is almost definitely just going to make it worse.

My next appointment’s Friday, and I’m actually really looking forward to it!

Thing I Saw Yesterday: This!


Thing I Learned Yesterday: The game Drawful 2 is brilliant and a lot of fun.

I’m Grateful For: The feeling of being able to start again. I believe 2019 is going to be better.