What do I know today? I bought a PlayStation Classic, the much-dunked-upon mini-console with 20 games built in. They were $110 when released last year, and greeted with a pretty resounding “meh” by reviewers and fans alike because…well I mean, Sony kinda rushed these out. Slower versions of certain games, really bad filtering effects for 2D graphics (that aren’t toggle-able by default), and an odd selection of titles. Since the reaction was so lukewarm they started dropping in price immediately, until hitting our local Wal-Mart for a paltry $40.

This still might not have enticed me BUT Sony’s lackadaisical approach to these consoles means that they are: very hackable! And yes, you can do more and better things with a Raspberry Pi or something, but you cannot beat this price. So I was up late last night playing with a USB-loaded game launcher, and then playing Intelligent Qube, which comes with the system and turns out to be really good.

I recently came across a post on tumblr that’s been making me think; it’s about the distinction between loving yourself and loving being yourself. Maybe this seems like semantic or crunchy granola nonsense, but I’ve found it interesting to consider. I’m thinking particularly about struggling to change my perception of my own body, and how I can spend time trying to look at myself uncritically and with a caring attitude but still not feel like I’m “getting anywhere”. To borrow the words of the post, it’s an issue of…

…trying to summon the “correct” feelings towards yourself or fashion yourself into something you can approve of. 

And of course, looking at what I’ve been learning this year about accepting things as they are rather than forcing them to be a certain way; the way I’m trying to go about it probably isn’t going to work.

One other thing I read a while back but didn’t note here was to pick a point in your body where you know you carry stress or tension; for me, it’s sort of in the middle of my chest, which tightens up as I get stressed. And then, as often as you like, check up on that point. How’s it feeling, and what does that say about whatever you’re experiencing at that moment? Whether the experience is positive, negative, or just neutral, it’s fine. If it’s negative, don’t freak out or worry, but just…notice it. Maybe make a mental note about it as something to address in the future.

Now, with this new thing in mind, I can try to look at that point in my chest a little more holistically, and reframe the question to ask about whether or not I’m enjoying Being Me at that moment. It’s a small thing, but an acknowledgement that I’m not just observing this stuff from outside myself, like the post says.

Thing I Saw: So many dogs! As the weather finally gets warmer around here, people are out walking their doggos and I love it.

Thing I Learned: I caught the last few minutes of the Blue Jackets / Lightning hockey game last night, and apparently I witnessed a little bit of history. I learned this morning that Tampa Bay was the first #1 seeded team in 81 years to get swept out of the playoffs in the first round. So that’s neat. Mostly I wanted the game to be over so I could use the TV again to play more Intelligent Qube

I’m Grateful For: Slowly improving weather.

No reason, it’s just been in my head lately