Black Hole

Black Friday is upon us! Even here, in Canada, where I’m pretty sure it started just because our retailers wanted to stop people from going southwards to shop in the states. All my life I’ve been the sort of person who tries to fill the hole inside of him with new things. Love new things. I’d love to report that now, with counselling and mindfulness and family and faith, that hole is no longer there.

Nope! Still a consumer! I am however pleased to report that I feel slightly less compelled to Buy Things. For instance I have overlooked many game sales in the past months! And uh…I walked all the way around Canadian Tire today and didn’t really feel compelled to get a single priced-to-move thing, even though we have piles of Canadian Tire money on our card, which means that these bargain goods were essentially free. 

I guess I still have this video rattling around in my head from watching it last week:

My new video card arrived just before I left home to return to work. Guess I have a project this weekend. I’m one of the few people who is actively glad that the value of Bitcoin has been dropping, because that means all those nerds mining their fake internet money have slowed down on buying graphics cards for PCs and I can finally replace the one that died on me months ago.

Thing I Saw Yesterday – Giant inflatable light-up snowman around the corner from a wall of Paw Patrol stuff at Costco.

Thing I Learned Yesterday – There are more tigers in captivity in America than wild tigers in the entire world! This thanks to the podcast “Criminal”, which was about a dude in Louisiana who keeps a tiger at his truck stop as an attraction. 

I’m Grateful For – Financial security.

Live & Let Live

I’m hunting for a better banner photo.

There’s a spider living in the sink in the downstairs bathroom of my home, and for some reason I haven’t done anything about that. It’s been there for days now, occasionally being hit by water when I wash my hands. Nobody else in the house seems to have noticed. I’ve spent many years hating spiders and have often killed them as soon as I’ve spotted them in my home, but this past year I’ve been more…just…letting them be?? There were three giant (for our area) ones living on the deck for most of the summer, and at any other time I would’ve gone out of my way to destroy them and their webs. I was still repulsed by them of course, but I couldn’t bring myself to actually kill them. I think I’m trying to acknowledge that spiders play an important ecological role, and maybe be a tiny bit more mindful about respecting life.

I am going to pat myself on the back real quick for how much more patient I’m becoming during meetings. Last night I took minutes at the monthly music committee meeting in my church. I’m just starting another three-year term, having served six(!) already. I used to get very frustrated and antsy when committee members would bunnytrail away from our meeting agendas and chitchat, before sort of disconnecting from the proceedings altogether and heading into my own little world. But I’ve been working on being more mindful and present in these situations. It’s a work in progress, as am I. 

I think it doesn’t hurt that I make sure to eat a snack just before heading to the meetings, which are always at 5pm.

Thing I Saw Yesterday – “Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II”, actually an episode of MST3K on Netflix. A bad film to be sure, but the riffing was good. 

Thing I Learned Yesterday – Well, okay, so there’s intrauterine devices (IUDs) for women that time-release hormones as a form of birth control. This I was dimly aware of. What I was definitely not aware of is that they can migrate?? and wander off into your body somewhere, sometimes not to be found for years until something gets infected. 

I’m Grateful For – being generally of sound mind and body, and that I don’t have tiny devices going on vacation inside of me.

Just Let It Happen

I have an enormous list of self-care ideas that I keep in a spreadsheet, and it randomly suggested that I start a blog. Again. I’m going to try not to edit too much, maybe treat it like a NaNoWriMo, just go go go and let the words tumble out.

Lately been thinking a lot about the words of Dale Cooper, FBI agent from the cult TV program “Twin Peaks”

I love the idea of little gifts to myself (it’s my love language haha) but I have no idea how not to plan for them. Yesterday I slightly re-arranged my errands route so that I could get a delicious caramel donut from a local bakery. Not sure how to have that kind of spontaneity. Maybe what I’m doing is enough.

Self-care is real important to me lately.

In other news I still need to find a gifty for my MetaFilter Secret Quonsar (secret santa) swap. I have very little information to go on and this person doesn’t seem to have a searchable profile on the site, so I can’t trawl for hints that way. I wrote an essay for my gift ideas section and I expect everyone to do the same :p

Yesterday I Saw: A nearly full display case of donuts at Valley Bakery, which was a little overwhelming. Somehow I usually get there after everything has been sold, which limits my choices in a way that I’m okay with. But it was nice to gaze upon all the pastries.

Yesterday I Learned: Google has a special OS for smart watches (called Wear OS) and there’s a new chip in some new watches that dramatically increases battery life. One of these new watches is by Louis Vuitton and costs $2500 (I suppose USD)

I’m Grateful For: Lori, specifically when we’re both around and can trade off directly interacting with Cassidy when one of us needs a break.