I think I managed to disable comments on new posts. It’s not that I don’t want to hear back from anybody, but it’s more like…nobody human was commenting. That sounds way more exciting than it really is. Anyway if you have comments/questions/concerns please come find me on twitter or something.
Like many of you, I had dreams of watching the entire MCU again on account of it being 1.)Ten years? TEN! YEARRRS! since it started and 2.) Endgame is coming to cap it all off. And hey, since my afternoons at work are generally a little quieter I can just have the movies on my 2nd monitor while I do other things. Unfortunately, the very first film, Iron Man, isn’t available for streaming like Iron Man 2 and many films afterward. I could “rent” it from a digital store, sure, but I already own it on Blu-ray at home. And I don’t want to rent a movie I already own. I could watch it at home, but when I have time to watch something at home there’s things I want to see more. So that was where I got stuck and never recovered, on the very first film. Maybe I’ll reconsider in 2029.
Noting here for posterity, and if say it out loud more times I may actually do something; Sunday morning at church was very busy for me, and I came away from it saying that I need to drop one of my volunteer activities there. That’s actually rare — because I’m so averse to even potentially upsetting people, I hate to drop things I’m a part of, or say no to things.
Anyway, what happened. It was basically just a perfect storm; Lori was working so I took Cassidy there alone, then let her get handed off from volunteers to her grandparents as I ran from Sunday School (reading story & lead singing) to the projection area of the booth (to run that during the service). Then it was off to the basement to get ready for a small potluck / meeting being held by the Music Committee on which I serve and had to present at, and also for which I needed to get my own dish prepared. I felt, and later said to Lori, that if church is meant to be a place to slow down, breathe, and let my soul find rest and preparation for the week ahead? Then I’m doing it wrong.
Already I’m rationalizing and telling myself that it’s So Rare for all these things to come up on the same morning, just give it time, it’ll calm down. On the other hand, I’ve brushed off previous Sundays when I’ve felt like this, and I can be pretty confident that it’ll happen again.
Two pieces of advice that I’ve come across in the past few months that are coming to me now, when considering what to keep, what to move on from, &c:
- “Am I being led by love, or pushed by fear?” (yes fear, mostly fear, honestly) (thanks Emily)
- Know that your decision may upset others, but will it actually harm them in the long run? (from a recent sermon at WMBC)
Guess I got some thinkin’ to do.
Thing I Saw: This, and I’ve been a little obsessed over the past two days since watching it:
Thing I Learned: From above, there are now 812 pokemon in total I guess. I used to pore over the original 150, and after that my knowledge drops off precipitously.
I’m Grateful For: A loving God, who has a plan, and to whom I can give my anxieties and pointless ruminations.