What Have I Become

Yesterday was Monday, a hot and muggy day off from work in which I decided to clean the garage floor. This is usually done a little earlier in the year, like Spring? And not August? but eh, life’s busy. The process involves backing the cars out, taking out all the stuff that’s on the floor, and sweeping / washing the caked-on layers of dirt and muck. Not thrilling, but it needs doing. I usually play a bit of music and try to hydrate a lot.

Unfortunately, the process left me with a lot of mud at the top of my driveway, just outside the doors. So I grabbed the hose and stood there, quietly trying to wash the mud down the driveway. The kids had been playing outside but were elsewhere, and I had turned off the music a while back. Not sure why. Vibes were wrong, who knows.

While standing there, spraying water back and forth and watching debris float away I start thinking: I am such a stereotypical suburban dad at this moment. Let’s run down the list:

  • 40 years old
  • Dirty cap, shorts, old running shoes, and a t-shirt from a 5K I ran in 2018 (past glories haha)
  • One hand on hip, the other holding a garden hose
  • Using a holiday to clean the garage
  • Bluetooth speaker playing old rock songs (currently off)

In that moment I kept thinking that, at 20, I would have never expected to become the person I’m describing. And my first reaction was that it was bad somehow, that I’d betrayed my past self. On reflection, however, I realized that at 20 I would have had absolutely no idea what I wanted to be like at 40. It’s not as though I had big dreams then either! I’m where I am because of choices I made, and it’s fine. It’s good, actually. Life: good. Not without challenges and dark days, mind you, but overall, today I can say: is good.

I don’t know, I guess I just found this interaction with myself interesting enough to note and share with whomstever will read this.

Thing I Saw: A children’s entertainer doing magic tricks while my daughter’s mouth hung open. She’s 6.5 now and I often go back and forth on how rational or how mysterious I should make my explanations of things, when she has questions about the world. In this case, I don’t know how he did some of the things he did, so I can honestly say: “magic, I guess!” when she wants to know the answers. I like that.

Thing I Learned: You can beat the boss and get the third medallion in The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past without getting the item in the big chest for that dungeon. (Unfortunately that item is crucial for the game going forward, but almost everywhere else you have to use the dungeon’s item on the boss, so)

I’m Grateful For: My household has been remarkably healthy this summer! Right around this time last year was when things hit the fan for us, and it felt like somebody was infected with something for pretty much the rest of the year.

If you’re looking for music to clean a garage by, start here.