Get Over Yourself

Alright, okay, it’s Wednesday and I’m at least a little buzzed on coffee, too much to get anything useful done, let’s update the blog!

CORRECTION: I just realized it’s Tuesday.

So I have this problem, and the problem is that I want to play Dungeons & Dragons or some sort of tabletop RPG with people. (Maybe Tales from the Loop, which seems 100% in my wheelhouse but oh gosh the bundle is over a hundred dollars)

Solution: get my group of friends to play, right? We’ve spent time in various D&D editions before, we could do it again. Wrong! Our group is fragmented over the summer, so getting a consistent time to play would be challenging at best. Plus nobody wants to DM the game, so I usually end up doing it, and I don’t want to, because it’s a lot of work. Lastly, story and character stuff never really hooked them in; mostly my pals just want to do fun dungeon crawls and fight monsters. Which, you know, is a fine way to play. But I want something meatier. I want to do the role playing part. Plus of all the DM jobs, running combat was my least favourite. My friends like tactical stuff and I don’t.

Possible Solution: I saw some signs at the used game store for some local D&D groups that were running. Now I really know nothing about these or the people involved; I guess I could check them out, but my fear is that I’ll be much older than the others and make it weird for everybody. I mean, writing that down I guess I can’t know anything about the demographics of them. I’m actually just taking myself out of the running because of my own anxieties and hangups. And truthfully I look at signs like that and still think “yeah but what if they’re weeeeirrd” which is this ancient, super ridiculous nerd culture bias that I’m still learning to overcome. I need to remember that I’m not better than anybody, and I definitely can’t throw stones at people for being “weird”.

Okay so, I guess, the way to face my anxiety down is to reach out and inquire to these folks! See what’s up and then decide to join or not! And even if I went to a session, I don’t have to feel obligated, right? Take my own advice to others in this season of my life? Aw heck

Thing I Saw: In This Corner Of The World, a gorgeous, charming, sometimes heartbreaking slice-of-life drama about a young Japanese woman living through World War II. It’s on Netflix and I really recommend it.

Thing I Learned: Oh my gosh! So! Lori just casually tossed out, a few days ago, the fact that when you eat or talk only your lower jaw is moving, of course, because your upper jaw is like, fused to your cranium and only that lower one’s on the hinge, right? Reader, this blew my mind. It makes sense but I’ve just never thought about it, and the weirdest thing is that it feels so much like the upper jaw is moving! Lori laughed and laughed while I freaked out for a while. I had to look at myself in a mirror while moving my mouth. Ugh! So weird.

I’m Grateful For: Actually my job, even though I don’t love the day-to-day work that I do. But I do love the freedom it gives me, and I feel like this year I’m making some progress on my mental health as well.

Word of warning: I post a lot of chill music at the end of these entries but this song is very loud and fast.

They’re Canadian!