Steps

So, my Dad’s getting remarried in just over a week, and I feel like I want to talk about that.

Her name’s Alice. She’s pleasant, gets on well with children, has a real heart for volunteer service (much like Dad) and is twice widowed herself. They seem like a real good fit for one another and it’s certainly not something that any of us have had a strong reason to be opposed to. We’ve actually known that this was coming for a little while now, but everything has been very hush-hush because…I guess I’m not sure? Dad seems extremely reluctant to talk about relationship things, and the wedding is going to be a small affair for family in Alice’s backyard.

That part right there has been weird for Lori and me, because usually things like this are exciting! And people want to make announcements and get excited with the people around them! But we also recognize that we don’t know what it’s like to be in that stage of life, having been through what both of them have been through. Maybe we wouldn’t want to make a big deal out of it either.

Most people ask how I feel about all of it, and I say, “Fine…?” Again, I think they’re a good fit, and all of the children are adults — and mostly living elsewhere — so it’s not like it changes very much about our day-to-day living. I’m grappling a little bit with the idea of having a stepmother and stepsiblings, but not in a negative way so much as just…turning the idea over and looking at it. Repeating it to myself.

And actually, one of my new stepbrothers sounds fascinating and like somebody I could get on very well with, but! He lives and works in Taipei, so, unlikely we’re going for coffee anytime soon

On that note — Alice and sons have been cleaning up the house to make way for Dad to move in, and while talking about that I was thrilled to learn that this future stepbrother left behind a bunch of Dungeons & Dragons books, and records by a band named Rush. In this area, there’s still a lot of suspicion of D&D left over from the “Satanic Panic” years of the 1980s, so Alice had been advised to just destroy them altogether, but she wasn’t sure. My brother Lloyd and I made the case that D&D is fine, just a framework for group storytelling and adventures really, and in the end she seemed willing to turn them over to me (!!!) for which I would have been extremely grateful.

However, a trip to her house last night revealed that they weren’t D&D at all but the “Mysteries of the Unknown” hardcover set, interesting and valuable in their own right but certainly not what I was expecting. Future stepbrother’s (I’m not being coy, his name honestly escapes me at this moment) record collection was awesome, though. Big stack of 1970s prog rock including Yes, Rush, lots of Jethro Tull. Super cool

Anyway life is an adventure and a weird old thing, and sometimes you find yourself revisiting the story you tell about yourself in order to add a chapter that you never thought you would.

Thing I Saw: A concert program from Jethro Tull’s 1979 tour, which folded out to a pretty cool poster.

Thing I Learned: Alice’s house has cozy guest rooms but doesn’t seem to have any video games at all, so I may just quietly install something retro to complete the place.

I’m Grateful For: Dad finding somebody good for him, so he doesn’t have to be lonely